I’ll bring my mini-series on stress to a close with a final post that I’m calling:
“The Sure-fire, Never-fail, 100 % Guaranteed Way to Bring More Stress into Your Life.”
The natural follow-up question: if what I’m going to tell you is a guaranteed way to add stress, would breaking this habit reduce my stress?
The answer is an emphatic yes.
I warn you that this habit is hard to break. And doing so will require involving both your head and your heart. Seems most people are susceptible to this habit, we might even call it part of the human condition. However, once we see our tendencies and become aware of how this habit shows up and impacts our lives, we can take steps to address it.
I’m talking about playing the comparison game. You probably play it more frequently than you think you do. It’s a subtle game – but oh so dangerous. When we play, we lose at this game every single time.
- She is further along in her career than I. I should be where she is.
- He is more athletic than I.
- I should have a car like hers.
- Look at him – glad I’m not carrying those excess pounds.
- I’m not as well-read as she is.
And on and on it goes. We constantly judge ourselves by how we stack up against others. And if we think for a minute there we’re on the top end of the comparison, smugness (or full-blown arrogance – attractive to no one) sets in and the fall comes swift and hard. If you are already struggling or feeling down, and you focus on how well or easy others have it, self-pity sets in and drains every ounce of motivation you need to finish your day.
Are you aware of how often you play the comparison game? I encourage you to pay attention over the course of this next week and gain some insight into your patterns.
What’s the remedy? Well, solutions are an individual matter, but an excellent place to start is:
1) Growing and protecting your confidence.
2) Strengthening your boundaries.
You can learn how to do the above through one-on-one coaching with a professional, certified coach.
These are two key tools to mitigating stress by impacting your need for and patterns of playing this guaranteed stress-producing game.
As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback.
Gigi
